You know what the thing is: I’m still labelling as well. Because I don’t know what I am. I’ve been trying to figure it out for ten years now. Maybe even longer. For as long as I’ve known, I wanted to be a boy. And before I got diagnosed with MKR, which means I don’t have a uterus, the doctors first thought that I might have been born in the wrong body. It wasn’t the case, and I was so disappointed. That idea of being born in the wrong body felt right. Why couldn’t it be that way? Why wasn’t I meant to be a boy? Why weren’t these feelings just… a mistake?

If I had a choice, I would prefer to be a man. But there are so many consequences. The waiting lists, the transition, and after all of that, I would still not be biologically seen as a man. The genital surgeries involved are far from perfect. Do I want to be a guy with female genitals? I don’t know if I could live with that idea. For me, it’s all or nothing. And in this case, that isn’t really possible right now. I’m born a woman. Do I have a choice? Do I really want to deal with all of that? I’m quite happy at the moment. I wear men’s clothes, and I cut my hair. I wanted that for a very long time, but I was so scared. When I finally did it, the smile on my face grew with every inch of hair that got cut.